Practices like yoga, mindfulness, and meditation may sometimes come across as “woo-woo nonsense” to people who don’t do them, but it’s becoming increasingly clear that such activities can have a positive effect on our lives. Recent research shows that mindfulness can lead to greater sexual satisfaction. That means not only more sex, but also better sex. Where do we sign up?
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The concept of mindfulness involves becoming aware of one’s own physical sensations, feelings, and thoughts, without immediately jumping to actions or reactions. Its origins lie in Buddhism, but mindfulness is increasingly being practiced in non-Buddhist countries as well. It could have a positive effect in the workplace, in relationships, in social interactions, and thus also on your sex life. That’s according to a new study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.
“I’ve been studying sex for some time, and a few years ago I was introduced to mindfulness. Sex and mindfulness just seemed like a natural match. People often struggle to feel connection and a ‘purpose’ in sex,” said study author Chelom E. Leavitt, an assistant professor at Brigham Young University. The researcher wanted to find out what effect mindfulness might have on sexual satisfaction and libido, and came to a number of surprising conclusions.
Mindfulness and curiosity
“It may seem a bit counterintuitive at first, but slowing down the experience and making it less goal-oriented and more intentional helps people feel better about themselves, closer to their partner, and more satisfied with the sexual experience. When I teach sexual mindfulness to couples, most are a bit skeptical at first. However, as they engage with it, they’re often surprised by the importance of awareness, curiosity, acceptance, and letting go of judgments about themselves and their partner.”
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The study examined 194 married, heterosexual individuals between the ages of 35 and 60. Leavitt and her colleagues found that more mindful participants were more satisfied with their relationships and sex lives. They also had a better self-image compared to less mindful participants. This is consistent with previous research, which showed that women who practiced mindfulness meditation rated their sex lives higher than women who did not.
No crazy positions
“The average person can improve their sexual relationship with a few simple instructions and exercises. It doesn’t require new positions or special skills. Better sex can be as simple as just taking it slow, judging yourself and your partner less, and paying more attention to touch, arousal, and connection during sex,” Leavitt said in an online interview. Notable detail: the association between mindfulness and sexual satisfaction was stronger among women.
